Exercising Comfortably

Hmmm. Crisps, Pot Noodle and a cheeky wee white. I'm ready for the burn baby.

First Steps

The first attempt at getting fit ended in failure. I bought one of those sit-up contraptions you fit to doors and started doing sit-ups. I promptly did my back in with agonising pain shooting up from the base of my spine. To make things worse, the next day I slipped at the top of the stairs and hit every step with my tailbone on the way down. Sitting winded at the bottom with pain lancing through my chest, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. I was off work for a week and the sit-up bar has gone unused since.

A few weeks later though, I bought an exercise bike from eBay. Originally from a gym, it's a really sturdy machine with a computerised read-out and built in programmes. I started off doing 6-7 miles at a time which was enough to turn my legs to jelly and have the sweat pouring off my head. I soon moved up to doing  15 miles or so in a 30 minute session on a constant setting.

That's when I made an important discovery. Exercising to the point of exhaustion feels great when you stop. I've read that endorphins are released during exercise that are actually addictive. I think I may be experiencing a bit of that myself.

Halting the slide

I'm not quite sure when the slow slide into decrepitude started but I do remember when I used to be fit. Once upon a time I could run Forrest Gump to a standstill, swim faster than Barrymore on party night and do push-ups faster than a cricketer could count his bung. But that was over quarter of a century ago and I've rather let things go to seed a little. Funnily enough, I've had the same body-shape for most of my adult life. Since I was 16 I've been a 6'2" beanpole - 32" waist, spaghetti arms and weighing about 165lbs which was pretty much unchanging until I hit 40 and my body embarked upon a lebensraum project. I first noticed the effects when I was running down the stairs in a hurry to get to work. A certain jiggling in the chestal area caught my attention. At first I was a bit confused at this unfamiliar sensation, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant so I ran back up the stairs and repeated the exercise. Well he-llo moobs.

I have to admit to a sedentary lifestyle. A year ago I smoked 40 cigars a day and enjoyed the diet l'Eccossaise to the full. I stopped smoking on July 21st 2009 which was the trigger for my body to put the lebensraum project on high priority and go into blitzkrieg mode. Almost overnight I put on 60lbs and saw my waist expand to 42". Suddenly my clothes didn't fit and I was having to wear bell-tent trousers with braces. It wasn't long before I decided to do something about it.

This blog will hopefully record my progress in a mildly amusing but interesting way.  I'm well aware that a series of blog posts along the lines of "1 hr in gym tonight - phew, doesn't sweat smell whiffy?" will be as boring as a politician's dress sense so I'll throw it open to guest posts from anyone who has something to say about gyms, exercise and getting fit.